forgotten

why is it, that at many points throughout our daily lives, we enounter the most remarkable individuals and receive opportunities to be enthralled by them, by their wisdom, their kindness, their beauty, and yet we say nothing of it, letting their splendor go seemingly unnoticed? is it simply because we believe they are aware of it, that they are reminded of it so many times each and every day? does it ever occur to us that this might not be the case, that these beautiful aspects of those around us are taken for granted, unappreciated and ignored?

what difficulty is it to go an extra step and let these complimentary thoughts become realized as words? why can we not let them know they are precious to us?

why is it i cannot convey what it is i want to say?

rant

i observe the world through critical eyes, watching the destructive forces of the media tear apart our pastimes, interests and entertainment. it is difficult to imagine a future where our creative forces have been strengthened and given the power to build worlds that are not filled with hollow shades of the latest dying trend, allowed to compose unrestrained by the binding idiocy of the modern age.

regrettably, much of my creation is due to the work of others, inspiration always capable of being traced to its root, the source of its birth. in fact, a great deal of my works begin as a nearly identical copy of the original template, only slight details altered within the whole.

but through a fair deal of effort and natural evolution, these ideas seemingly take on lives of their own, developing and shifting ways i would have never before thought possible. but i believe that they, in similitude of myself, are dissatisfied with the shallow echoes that fill our reality, yearning for more, a freedom from these shackles of the world.

but our generation seems to be fueled solely by rebellion. their lives are steered by it; they are possessed of radical notions, simply desirous of defiance. this robs them of individual thought, always being swayed into the contrary by others.

but there are others who choose to stand alone, to persist in being unfettered by the raging machines around them.

my faith in the world is lost but it remains with those chosen few who still retain a will to create and resolve to fight. should they remain diligent and steadfast, they will be those who craft the future, the forerunners who raise the coming generation. and that gives me hope.

mirrors

when i go home at the day's end

there is a test i must pass

a reflection of what my life has amounted to

reminiscence on what i have done

there is but one question to be answered

"what will he think,

this man in the glass?"

would he be pleased?

would he approve of things i had done?

what would he say,

the man in the glass?

could he speak with pride about me?

when the sun has set

there is no one but he and i

this man who follows me about

watching my every move

it is he i must live with

and he alone, this man in the glass

before i can sleep

there is one final test i must pass

when i see him, the man in the glass

can i look him in the eye?

gemini

there are times in our lives where we encounter others who are nearly a reflection of ourselves. they may be warped into forms completely separate from our own, a different gender or diverse abilities and interests, and sometimes this makes them difficult to recognize. but i believe that regardless of what may come, nothing can stop us from crossing paths with these remarkable individuals.


i think i've had the incredibly fortunate experience of chancing upon several of these people, those who are like twins to me, and spending a great deal of time with them. they have helped me grow, and continue to shape me.

but there are times where i feel that these, my twins, are more alien to me than most others. they, who i feel can read my thoughts at times, have become persons unknown to me. we are strangers with an intricate knowledge of each other.

and then, moments pass where i feel as if we were born of elements from the same soul, crafted to be one and the same but split apart through the tests of life. it is in these instances i relish, reveling in the sweet poetry born of them. they show me it is as if we were at one time utterly identical but time and trial had taken its toll, changing us, but not breaking us. we still match, joining together in perfect harmony, but we have shifted into a symphony rather than remaining clones of one another. parts of us accent others, and some negate each other, uniting to create a masterpiece of prodigious proportions.

but then the elegance fades and we return to our illusory world, believing that what existed is unattainable and, even if we had achieved it, it would be beyond the realm of possibility to accomplish it again.

i reject the chimerical existence given to me and challenge the fallacious reality that surrounds us. i choose more.

i choose rapture.

complexity

for some time now, i have participated in the fruitless and futile endeavor led by men to understand our counterpart species: women. these intricate creatures have the most extravegant thought processes, capable of racing through a variety of topics in just a short amount of time.

i must admit, i have spent time behind enemy lines, so to speak. so much in fact that i've somehow formed a splinter sect that cannot be categorized either as male or female. i simply stand alone.

as a maverick, i have been allowed to delve into this deep, malicious sea of swirling, grim thoughts and endless feminine confusion. these stormy waters are treacherous, and I have found they have been plaguing women for many years. i admire them for their daring perdurance, but their tenacity seems to be capable of going only so far.

our modern world has inflicted a canker of inadequacy on them, and it grows as a rot in their minds. the corrosive words that surround them are as a shroud of darkness, threatening to destroy. and there are instances where the contention is too much to bear and surrender becomes an attractive option.

but i implore you to endure. the night is always darkest before the dawn. there is always hope, always the promise of the coming light. we must suffer trials and hardships in our lives before we can partake of the sweet fruit borne of them.

our women are incredible. they fight an unjust battle and, at times, they fight it alone. and that is more commendable than any other achievement i find conceivable. this is my tribute to them.

oddity

a strange revelation: people actually read my blog? i can't say i appreciate the pressure when i am told that some have come to the absurd conclusion that they find it intriguing, but let it be noted i am most definitely grateful for the support.

something else i find curious is that i only have a vague recollection of writing anything on this page. most of it seems as if it were crafted from nothingness, or simply summoned by an unknown entity.

whoever it is, this creature who lurks in the shadows, i hope that it lingers for a bit longer.

envy

i cannot tell a lie, i've always been jealous of my sister's easy way with words. in whatever writings she conjures up, there exists a magnificence that i eternally attempt to imitate and i will evermore fall short of her splendor.

but nevertheless, i will strive to scale this massive mount of brilliance, if only in the hope that i will ascend high enough to barely glimpse the radiance of her works. it is a vain hope, but it is what anchors me to this endeavor of creation within the bounds of script, an essay of poetic prose.

however, i fear that this aspiration is my undoing. my method of soaring language and words lathered in embellishment is a repellant, chasing away any who might stumble upon what i have written.

without a guide in this sphere of thought, i will continue in my loquacious manner, if only to continue writing for my own purposes.